Love, a complex situation of my life
When I was in school, life seems to be so happening. I had a group of few friends and they were so awesome. We never did anything alone. Eloping from school to watch movies to celebrate any occasions. It was so fun and everything seems to be much easy, never had the fear of getting scold from either parents or teachers.
When we talk about the word Love, people feel so exited. They welcome it as a boon into their life. But it came into my life as a curse.
It happened during my college time when i was in graduation. I proposed a girl on the very first day of my college , but she rejected on that very first day saying she is already engaged, but she insisted me to be her friend and she also told me that she ll be my best friend. Initially i thought it was love but later found it was just a crush. Then it happened again and i fall in love with one of my junior. This time i thought i understand love now and its time to get hitched. But god knows she started loving some other guy of her batch and she simply told that she cant be with me. I still remember that it was just a month and a half and it was all over.
Then I thought that i wont fall in love anymore. I started making friends. online friends, either from Yahoo messenger or Rediffbol messenger. That time this was the only medium of chatting in internet with unknown stranger. I started chatting with unknown person and then one day i found a girl. I started to talk and co-incidentally we became online quite a few times and we chat with each other. Later i thought lets make her as a friend, and we started to plan our chat, day, time and all. She was in a different city so there was no question of meeting and all.
We talked for a long time around a year and then i had to shift to some other place for the post graduation. for almost a year and half, i though of sending out her an email, and to my surprise she replied back also. I felt so happy getting her reply back, but even at that time also i didnt though of falling in love with her. We again started planning our chat and we were so good friend. I used to share everything with her, she used to share her life with me, about her friends, family and many more.
One fine day we were chatting and i dont know suddenly the theme of yahoo messenger changed. it became love theme. In yahoo messenger we can select theme as a background when we chat. so to my surprise when i saw the change i asked her did u changed the theme and she didnt replied. I understood that she was in love with me, but i was feeling guilty that we didnt met even, how come she likes me, is it going to stay even for a week and that too a distance relation? there were so many question which came to my mind, but i dont know what to say.
I told her i do love you, do u love me and she said yes. Then i explained her, that we havent met each other and moreover we are in a different city, how come we ll be in love. and who knows if you see me you might reject me as i am not so handsome. The reply what she gave me touched my heart. She told "I love you not because of all these things, its not about the look. I loved a person who has touched my feelings, who understands me more than me. I loved a person who has shared everything with me, i understand you better and u understand me better, so its good that we can be together. "
I was feeling so happy, i was in love gain. and this time i thought that this is the last and final love story of my life, and whtever happens i am not going to leave her and i wont allow her also to leave me.
6 years of love and before that 4 years of friendship was the bonding between us, and Of course we met and later she came to my city for job. it was me who helped her to get the job. she was a good student all the time, so she also got job easily.
Now it was time to get settled and we talked with our family. I met her family, they liked me and my family met her they also liked her. now it was time to meet 2 families. A day was set when our families were about to meet. we were so much exited. finally we were in their home and we had a good talk. we talked about the marriage dates, places and all.
after that i though it was all set and we started behaving as a husband and wife. she started talking with me as my wife and i started talking wit her as a husband. we were feeling so good, but i told you rite, love came into my life as a curse. Suddenly her parents told that this marriage is not going to happen. They didnt told anything or any reason, just told that dont contact us further or else we ll take action.
i don't know what to do, i asked her , but she didn't told me anything. i asked her would she like to elope with me, but she refused and she told without my parents i wont do marriage, and i am trying to make them understand. wait for some more time.
months passed, but their parents became more cruel and they didn't allowed her to go out, not even for job. she was so mentally depressed. now in my family side they were making me understand that let her go, marry a girl of our choice and you ll see after marriage everything ll be alright.
one fine day, no, it was not fine, she was going out and hit by a vehicle. end of this love story. what a curse rite, i dont know who gave this this curse. i never did bad to anyone, i am a feb born person, people who born in this month are special, they r born to love people. but for me it was just a curse, and nothing else.
Long time, it took for me to came out of that breakup and due to my family i decided to marry a girl of their choice.
Girl searching started and finally after along search in the matrimony websites finally a girl was finalized and marriage was fixed.
I started talking with that girl and thought over the period of time my ex love story ll be vanished and i ll forget everything. now i ll be marring a girl who ll also take me as husband, i should not be doing any partiality. i have to give time to her. but things were not right from the beginning, she didn't talked with me much. i though that why its happening to me, then everyone in my family explained, that after marriage u just see, she ll love me like anything else. i thought OK lets wait till marriage.
finally i got married and i thought that my life is changed, yes it was changed but not in good sense, it became more hell. the behavior she had before marriage , she continued after marriage also. she don't talk with me much, only few necessary things.
during this time we had fights, and in anger i told many thing to her, but it was not intentionally done, in anger i told all those bad words. later i told her sorry and i explained her that it ll be good for both of us if we talk a little and start loving each other.
its been 4 months of our marriage and things are still not good. we just talk necessary things, she ll ask me had food, and that's it. sometimes she ll say me that she is going out with her friends and ll be back after sometime. this is the talk we had between us.
Curse, curse again, i started loving my wife and she didn't want to love me because she says that whenever she wants to get closer to me she had remembers the bad phase which i had with her, the words which i told to her. the anger expression which she has seen in me. I accept that i have been bad to her for few reasons, but its not like that i don't love her, i started falling in love with her, and i want to love her more , even more than what i used to love my girl friend.
Tell me, should I wait more time? Or should I end my life? Because love is not in my fate.
Whenever i loved a girl she left me because of some reason which was not acceptable.
Since she is my wife, i cant leave her, and she even cannot go leaving me, but she told me several times that she wants to go. but i tried to explain her that i ll be OK and i want her to spend some time with me and things ll be alright.
Feeling so depressed that i feel like dying. People in my family asking how about your life and every time I lie them saying its so awesome. But only I know that how much pain I have in me just trying to burring them so that no one get to know what is actually going on.
A story told by one of my friend, what was actually going on in his life. felt so bad that that i wrote down everything here.
When we talk about the word Love, people feel so exited. They welcome it as a boon into their life. But it came into my life as a curse.
It happened during my college time when i was in graduation. I proposed a girl on the very first day of my college , but she rejected on that very first day saying she is already engaged, but she insisted me to be her friend and she also told me that she ll be my best friend. Initially i thought it was love but later found it was just a crush. Then it happened again and i fall in love with one of my junior. This time i thought i understand love now and its time to get hitched. But god knows she started loving some other guy of her batch and she simply told that she cant be with me. I still remember that it was just a month and a half and it was all over.
Then I thought that i wont fall in love anymore. I started making friends. online friends, either from Yahoo messenger or Rediffbol messenger. That time this was the only medium of chatting in internet with unknown stranger. I started chatting with unknown person and then one day i found a girl. I started to talk and co-incidentally we became online quite a few times and we chat with each other. Later i thought lets make her as a friend, and we started to plan our chat, day, time and all. She was in a different city so there was no question of meeting and all.
We talked for a long time around a year and then i had to shift to some other place for the post graduation. for almost a year and half, i though of sending out her an email, and to my surprise she replied back also. I felt so happy getting her reply back, but even at that time also i didnt though of falling in love with her. We again started planning our chat and we were so good friend. I used to share everything with her, she used to share her life with me, about her friends, family and many more.
One fine day we were chatting and i dont know suddenly the theme of yahoo messenger changed. it became love theme. In yahoo messenger we can select theme as a background when we chat. so to my surprise when i saw the change i asked her did u changed the theme and she didnt replied. I understood that she was in love with me, but i was feeling guilty that we didnt met even, how come she likes me, is it going to stay even for a week and that too a distance relation? there were so many question which came to my mind, but i dont know what to say.
I told her i do love you, do u love me and she said yes. Then i explained her, that we havent met each other and moreover we are in a different city, how come we ll be in love. and who knows if you see me you might reject me as i am not so handsome. The reply what she gave me touched my heart. She told "I love you not because of all these things, its not about the look. I loved a person who has touched my feelings, who understands me more than me. I loved a person who has shared everything with me, i understand you better and u understand me better, so its good that we can be together. "
I was feeling so happy, i was in love gain. and this time i thought that this is the last and final love story of my life, and whtever happens i am not going to leave her and i wont allow her also to leave me.
6 years of love and before that 4 years of friendship was the bonding between us, and Of course we met and later she came to my city for job. it was me who helped her to get the job. she was a good student all the time, so she also got job easily.
Now it was time to get settled and we talked with our family. I met her family, they liked me and my family met her they also liked her. now it was time to meet 2 families. A day was set when our families were about to meet. we were so much exited. finally we were in their home and we had a good talk. we talked about the marriage dates, places and all.
after that i though it was all set and we started behaving as a husband and wife. she started talking with me as my wife and i started talking wit her as a husband. we were feeling so good, but i told you rite, love came into my life as a curse. Suddenly her parents told that this marriage is not going to happen. They didnt told anything or any reason, just told that dont contact us further or else we ll take action.
i don't know what to do, i asked her , but she didn't told me anything. i asked her would she like to elope with me, but she refused and she told without my parents i wont do marriage, and i am trying to make them understand. wait for some more time.
months passed, but their parents became more cruel and they didn't allowed her to go out, not even for job. she was so mentally depressed. now in my family side they were making me understand that let her go, marry a girl of our choice and you ll see after marriage everything ll be alright.
one fine day, no, it was not fine, she was going out and hit by a vehicle. end of this love story. what a curse rite, i dont know who gave this this curse. i never did bad to anyone, i am a feb born person, people who born in this month are special, they r born to love people. but for me it was just a curse, and nothing else.
Long time, it took for me to came out of that breakup and due to my family i decided to marry a girl of their choice.
Girl searching started and finally after along search in the matrimony websites finally a girl was finalized and marriage was fixed.
I started talking with that girl and thought over the period of time my ex love story ll be vanished and i ll forget everything. now i ll be marring a girl who ll also take me as husband, i should not be doing any partiality. i have to give time to her. but things were not right from the beginning, she didn't talked with me much. i though that why its happening to me, then everyone in my family explained, that after marriage u just see, she ll love me like anything else. i thought OK lets wait till marriage.
finally i got married and i thought that my life is changed, yes it was changed but not in good sense, it became more hell. the behavior she had before marriage , she continued after marriage also. she don't talk with me much, only few necessary things.
during this time we had fights, and in anger i told many thing to her, but it was not intentionally done, in anger i told all those bad words. later i told her sorry and i explained her that it ll be good for both of us if we talk a little and start loving each other.
its been 4 months of our marriage and things are still not good. we just talk necessary things, she ll ask me had food, and that's it. sometimes she ll say me that she is going out with her friends and ll be back after sometime. this is the talk we had between us.
Curse, curse again, i started loving my wife and she didn't want to love me because she says that whenever she wants to get closer to me she had remembers the bad phase which i had with her, the words which i told to her. the anger expression which she has seen in me. I accept that i have been bad to her for few reasons, but its not like that i don't love her, i started falling in love with her, and i want to love her more , even more than what i used to love my girl friend.
Tell me, should I wait more time? Or should I end my life? Because love is not in my fate.
Whenever i loved a girl she left me because of some reason which was not acceptable.
Since she is my wife, i cant leave her, and she even cannot go leaving me, but she told me several times that she wants to go. but i tried to explain her that i ll be OK and i want her to spend some time with me and things ll be alright.
Feeling so depressed that i feel like dying. People in my family asking how about your life and every time I lie them saying its so awesome. But only I know that how much pain I have in me just trying to burring them so that no one get to know what is actually going on.
A story told by one of my friend, what was actually going on in his life. felt so bad that that i wrote down everything here.
Comments
Post a Comment